1
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,970
Are you sure these are safe? Well, of
course they're safe.

2
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:33,130
Solid as a rock.

3
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,100
It's all right. It's not structural.

4
00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:38,750
Well, go on, then.

5
00:00:38,751 --> 00:00:41,959
There's heavy stuff in this box. Yes,
well, I've been up and down them all

6
00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:43,580
morning with your bed and things.

7
00:00:44,460 --> 00:00:45,510
Oh.

8
00:00:53,101 --> 00:01:00,049
Satisfied? Yeah, but Maxine warned me to
be careful. Oh, yes, the goth

9
00:01:00,050 --> 00:01:01,730
girlfriend. What is she, psychic?

10
00:01:01,930 --> 00:01:02,980
Yes, she is.

11
00:01:03,590 --> 00:01:08,329
Oh, yeah, right. Well, come on, David. I
mean, since when have we ever been

12
00:01:08,330 --> 00:01:12,630
worried about... Oh, no, Steve!

13
00:01:13,670 --> 00:01:14,930
Did you damage anything?

14
00:01:15,270 --> 00:01:17,440
A couple of these don't feel too
wonderful.

15
00:01:17,630 --> 00:01:19,870
I meant my favourite lunchbox. Did I?

16
00:01:26,510 --> 00:01:27,830
Sounds like a bodge up to me.

17
00:01:28,651 --> 00:01:31,469
Do you need to wash your face?

18
00:01:31,470 --> 00:01:34,600
Nobody needs to wash their face. Well,
the bathroom's in there.

19
00:01:34,601 --> 00:01:35,289
Yeah, I remember.

20
00:01:35,290 --> 00:01:36,340
No, no, no, this way.

21
00:01:36,341 --> 00:01:38,509
We thought you might like to have
David's old room.

22
00:01:38,510 --> 00:01:41,069
There's still some of his stuff in
there, but he's taking it upstairs.

23
00:01:41,070 --> 00:01:42,210
Then it'll be all yours.

24
00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:44,130
Right. That's right.

25
00:01:44,131 --> 00:01:49,229
Well, aren't you going to have a look?
Can I have pictures up? Of course.

26
00:01:49,230 --> 00:01:50,730
Can I have a look on the inside?

27
00:01:51,010 --> 00:01:52,530
No. Oh, that's cruelty!

28
00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:01,760
Can I finish this later?

29
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,050
Oh, I suppose so.

30
00:02:03,560 --> 00:02:04,640
He's just coming out.

31
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:07,510
Well, will it do?

32
00:02:07,860 --> 00:02:10,180
It's somebody's idea of a sick joke.

33
00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:13,360
Ah, yes. A special present from Aunty
Tina.

34
00:02:13,361 --> 00:02:14,499
It's horrible.

35
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:18,439
That's right, but if you wet it and rub
it on your face a lot of times, the

36
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,140
stitching might wear off. Ah, very
clever.

37
00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:22,490
Isn't it?

38
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,130
Ben?

39
00:02:28,761 --> 00:02:33,549
Oh, I just didn't nail down one of the
boards properly.

40
00:02:33,550 --> 00:02:34,549
It's dangerous.

41
00:02:34,550 --> 00:02:35,809
That's all right. Put a rug over it.

42
00:02:35,810 --> 00:02:37,130
What? No, I'm only kidding.

43
00:02:37,131 --> 00:02:40,509
I'll get Christine to bring some plaster
when she comes tomorrow. I'm thirsty.

44
00:02:40,510 --> 00:02:41,869
Oh, there's some orange juice in there.

45
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:45,549
You didn't let Declan upstairs near that
hole, did you? Don't worry. I warned

46
00:02:45,550 --> 00:02:46,289
him not to.

47
00:02:46,290 --> 00:02:51,309
Good. Now, I want you to remember,
Declan is not to be exposed to anything

48
00:02:51,310 --> 00:02:52,870
or weird this weekend.

49
00:02:53,410 --> 00:02:55,150
Well, he's come to the wrong family.

50
00:02:55,530 --> 00:02:58,790
What? There had to be none of your plans
or ideas.

51
00:02:59,270 --> 00:03:00,320
I don't have ideas.

52
00:03:00,321 --> 00:03:05,359
Well, I did think we might go to the dry
ski slope this weekend and try to...

53
00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:08,540
No! We can make our own skis out of old
skateboards.

54
00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:09,830
No!

55
00:03:10,060 --> 00:03:12,950
Keep away from your strange things. What
strange things?

56
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:15,540
The death masks you made at art class.

57
00:03:15,920 --> 00:03:19,520
The aftershave bottles relabelled
arsenic and strychnine.

58
00:03:19,780 --> 00:03:21,260
Your friends' video.

59
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:22,730
If you say so.

60
00:03:23,300 --> 00:03:28,170
Remember. He's had a very unstable life
so far, so he needs to have proper food,

61
00:03:28,270 --> 00:03:31,940
be encouraged to do his homework and not
see any violent films. I remember.

62
00:03:31,941 --> 00:03:35,349
Why should he get away with it when we
couldn't? What he needs is a completely

63
00:03:35,350 --> 00:03:36,430
normal weekend.

64
00:03:36,441 --> 00:03:38,389
Hi there.

65
00:03:38,390 --> 00:03:41,430
Hi. You know the bedroom I slept in the
first time I was here?

66
00:03:41,431 --> 00:03:42,489
Jenny's room?

67
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:45,270
Yeah. You realise there's a dead woman
in there?

68
00:03:45,810 --> 00:03:46,860
Hmm.

69
00:04:00,300 --> 00:04:01,350
She's not mine. Shh.

70
00:04:01,351 --> 00:04:03,299
She's dead.

71
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:05,950
Go downstairs and watch Declan. I can't
have a look. No.

72
00:04:08,780 --> 00:04:09,830
What is it really?

73
00:04:44,390 --> 00:04:46,070
Must have got tired by the journey.

74
00:04:46,650 --> 00:04:50,329
So, you see, everything's all right.
Nothing to get upset about. Come into

75
00:04:50,330 --> 00:04:51,380
kitchen.

76
00:04:51,381 --> 00:04:54,969
How did you get in here? I don't know.
While you were fetching deck, then I was

77
00:04:54,970 --> 00:04:56,289
finishing off the loft stuff.

78
00:04:56,290 --> 00:04:58,370
Did you leave the front door open? No.

79
00:04:58,371 --> 00:05:00,649
Only when I went to get the wood.

80
00:05:00,650 --> 00:05:03,000
I warned you to be careful about that.
I'm sorry.

81
00:05:03,130 --> 00:05:04,910
Now my mother's got into the house.

82
00:05:06,050 --> 00:05:07,770
That's more juice. Of course.

83
00:05:09,930 --> 00:05:10,980
Here we are.

84
00:05:11,050 --> 00:05:12,310
Carefully don't spill it.

85
00:05:12,311 --> 00:05:17,029
No need to panic. She might just be here
for the day. How will we know?

86
00:05:17,030 --> 00:05:18,829
Was there a suitcase in there as well?

87
00:05:18,830 --> 00:05:20,470
What? I think there was.

88
00:05:20,950 --> 00:05:22,000
Easy.

89
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,820
It's a blouse, slippers.

90
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:50,760
You need to find her knickers.

91
00:05:50,980 --> 00:05:52,030
What?

92
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,580
Find her knickers and count them.

93
00:05:54,820 --> 00:05:55,870
Brilliant.

94
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:58,540
I can't count my mother -in -law's
knickers.

95
00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:00,540
Close your eyes then.

96
00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:01,950
Oh, right.

97
00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,420
Hold on, I've found some. How many are
there?

98
00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:08,120
I don't know.

99
00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:22,490
It's a bit rubber in here.

100
00:06:22,910 --> 00:06:25,170
It's a sponge bag. Oh, no.

101
00:06:26,370 --> 00:06:28,970
Now we know. She's here for the weekend.

102
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:30,629
Well, there's only one bra.

103
00:06:30,630 --> 00:06:32,950
Oh, of course, there's only one...
Declan?

104
00:06:52,111 --> 00:06:53,699
See you later.

105
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:56,940
Bye. Give my love to Maxine. Will do.

106
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:58,660
Peculiar girl.

107
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:04,439
There are a lot of peculiar people
around here. God knows where they get

108
00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:05,490
ideas from.

109
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:10,770
Here we are.

110
00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:12,130
Oh!

111
00:07:12,880 --> 00:07:14,380
Isn't he a love?

112
00:07:14,940 --> 00:07:17,460
I just had to come and see him.

113
00:07:17,900 --> 00:07:21,100
Oh, thank you. That's just how I like
it.

114
00:07:21,820 --> 00:07:23,000
Actually... I made it.

115
00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:24,960
Oh, yes, so you did.

116
00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:29,280
Well, that's all that's taken care of,
then.

117
00:07:29,500 --> 00:07:33,540
Well, it's so nice to have us all
together here in the same room.

118
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:37,100
Pleased to see you too, Mrs Gates.

119
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:39,480
Oh, call me grand, love.

120
00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,570
After all, he's one of the family now,
isn't he?

121
00:07:42,571 --> 00:07:45,979
Yes, well, I'd better go and see about
the food or we'll all be hungry.

122
00:07:45,980 --> 00:07:47,030
Oh, what is it?

123
00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:48,740
Um, lamb chops and salad.

124
00:07:51,891 --> 00:07:53,759
have chips?

125
00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:55,720
Well, salad is nice too.

126
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,320
Salad is very bad for children.

127
00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,900
Why? Well, don't you read the papers?

128
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:06,499
All the tomatoes are genetically
mollified and they inject everything

129
00:08:06,500 --> 00:08:10,400
radioactivity. There's cucumbers as big
as Godzilla.

130
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,980
Well, we could just have the lettuce.

131
00:08:13,860 --> 00:08:16,560
Manatees eat lettuce and they're dying
out.

132
00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,500
Let us not have lettuce.

133
00:08:20,881 --> 00:08:22,929
of chips and beans.

134
00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:26,310
Yeah, little dear, he knows what's best
for him.

135
00:08:26,610 --> 00:08:30,030
Well, we prefer to have something a
little more healthy, don't we?

136
00:08:30,590 --> 00:08:37,210
Oh, yeah. We always have lots of fibre
and green stuff and pips.

137
00:08:39,370 --> 00:08:43,210
Oh, I thought you'd have made an
exception in my...

138
00:08:58,890 --> 00:09:02,669
Oh, well, haven't you got some
schoolwork to do, Declan? Oh, do I have

139
00:09:02,670 --> 00:09:08,269
that? No, he doesn't have to, does he?
Well, actually... Oh, it's boring, isn't

140
00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:12,370
it? Yeah, but... Well, now you can do it
all at breakfast on Monday morning.

141
00:09:12,610 --> 00:09:13,660
I used to.

142
00:09:13,870 --> 00:09:17,829
I actually don't really think... Oh,
well, we'll think of something else for

143
00:09:17,830 --> 00:09:18,880
to do, won't we?

144
00:09:18,881 --> 00:09:20,149
Will you?

145
00:09:20,150 --> 00:09:21,750
Mm. Now, let me think.

146
00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:23,610
Oh, I love you being here, Gran.

147
00:09:23,611 --> 00:09:24,829
Oh!

148
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:28,270
Bless him. And do you know how Declan
and I like being here too?

149
00:09:28,670 --> 00:09:29,720
No.

150
00:09:29,721 --> 00:09:33,829
Is she going to be here every weekend
he's here?

151
00:09:33,830 --> 00:09:35,820
I don't know. She knows there's room
now.

152
00:09:35,870 --> 00:09:37,310
Can't we get Jen to come back?

153
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,060
Well, we've got to do something. She's
seizing power.

154
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:41,160
Don't be ridiculous.

155
00:09:41,370 --> 00:09:43,570
Slim Jim does not sit once.

156
00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:45,180
All right.

157
00:09:45,181 --> 00:09:47,889
You see? You said you were going to feed
her properly.

158
00:09:47,890 --> 00:09:49,630
Well, they never hurt David and you.

159
00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:51,649
You know, she's just stopped him doing
his own work.

160
00:09:51,650 --> 00:09:53,510
What? I left you in charge of that.

161
00:09:53,511 --> 00:09:54,649
I know.

162
00:09:54,650 --> 00:09:55,700
What can I do?

163
00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:57,650
She knows I've seen her knickers.

164
00:09:58,730 --> 00:10:02,449
Shut up. Can't you see what's happening?
Ten to one, she's got him in there

165
00:10:02,450 --> 00:10:05,010
watching some gruesome video now. Don't
be silly.

166
00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:09,329
You just don't want to admit her evil
powers, do you? Go on, I'll bet you a

167
00:10:09,330 --> 00:10:11,500
fiver. I'll bet you a fiver. Go on, go
on, go on.

168
00:10:15,950 --> 00:10:18,180
What are you doing? You're watching a
video.

169
00:10:18,410 --> 00:10:19,550
I brought it with me.

170
00:10:19,770 --> 00:10:21,030
We thought we'd look at it.

171
00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:23,270
Oh. It's a Walt Disney.

172
00:10:23,530 --> 00:10:28,150
All about... Dear little fairies. Oh,
that sounds very nice.

173
00:10:28,350 --> 00:10:29,730
Come on, sit by me.

174
00:10:31,530 --> 00:10:32,580
Hey,

175
00:10:33,490 --> 00:10:35,970
would you like to see the scars on my
arm?

176
00:10:36,230 --> 00:10:37,550
They love it!

177
00:10:38,730 --> 00:10:43,090
Once, when I was a little girl, I
tripped and I fell on my elbow.

178
00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:48,909
And the whole shattered joint went right
up through the top and poking out

179
00:10:48,910 --> 00:10:49,909
through the top.

180
00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:55,059
Yes, well... And they had to hammer it
back. and secure it in position with

181
00:10:55,060 --> 00:10:57,120
three metal bolts.

182
00:10:57,460 --> 00:10:59,800
Here, here and here.

183
00:11:00,120 --> 00:11:03,010
You can see where they drilled the holes
through the pipe.

184
00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:09,099
I've got so many new bits and pieces in
me now that when I go through the metal

185
00:11:09,100 --> 00:11:12,240
detector, it sounds like tubular bells.

186
00:11:14,460 --> 00:11:20,919
And once, when I was playing near an
iron railing and I fell and a

187
00:11:20,920 --> 00:11:21,970
huge...

188
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:25,300
spike completely skewered my leg.

189
00:11:32,180 --> 00:11:33,820
Oh, thank God you're still here.

190
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,040
It's an emergency. Have we got any
brandy?

191
00:11:37,041 --> 00:11:41,439
That green stuff will walk back for the
trifle. Will that do? Just anything.

192
00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:42,490
Here,

193
00:11:44,020 --> 00:11:45,070
thanks.

194
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,520
Oh, my God, what is this?

195
00:11:50,540 --> 00:11:53,440
Freaksy... Caxoth, 15 -star brandy.

196
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:58,680
Three drachmas a litre. No wonder
they're always breaking plates.

197
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:00,460
What are you doing here?

198
00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:02,500
It's been a very bad day.

199
00:12:03,660 --> 00:12:05,950
But you're looking forward to having
Declan.

200
00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:08,820
Declan, yes. Not my mother as well.

201
00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:13,379
How did that happen? Just the usual. The
hurricane brought down the computers

202
00:12:13,380 --> 00:12:14,940
and the electric fences failed.

203
00:12:15,060 --> 00:12:19,439
She's been letting him run riot all
evening. He had three helpings of

204
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:20,880
without finishing his first.

205
00:12:21,130 --> 00:12:24,440
Read his comic at the table. Didn't help
with any of the clearing up.

206
00:12:24,490 --> 00:12:26,910
Don't be hard on him. He's only little.

207
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:28,690
Let him do what he wants.

208
00:12:28,970 --> 00:12:30,230
Ooh, isn't he a love?

209
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,810
She probably just enjoys seeing him.

210
00:12:33,070 --> 00:12:36,890
That's the trouble. She enjoys kids too
much. Nothing they do is ever wrong.

211
00:12:36,891 --> 00:12:40,389
If she'd stop you about kids, what's the
harm in that? You turned out all right,

212
00:12:40,390 --> 00:12:41,710
didn't you? Only by chance.

213
00:12:41,711 --> 00:12:42,569
What do you mean?

214
00:12:42,570 --> 00:12:43,790
She let me do anything.

215
00:12:43,791 --> 00:12:47,389
I could have turned out to be a mass
murderer. She'd have said, oh, leave her

216
00:12:47,390 --> 00:12:49,680
alone. She's just playing with her
little axe.

217
00:12:51,660 --> 00:12:53,520
You didn't. So what harm did it do?

218
00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:57,639
When I was six, I saw her with a
cigarette, so I said, Mum, can I have

219
00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,140
those? And she said, Of course you can,
Bill.

220
00:13:00,141 --> 00:13:03,779
In fact, why don't you finish this one
and handed it to me there and then?

221
00:13:03,780 --> 00:13:04,860
That's pretty clever.

222
00:13:05,060 --> 00:13:08,919
A year later, I was the only seven -year
-old in the brownies with a smoker's

223
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:09,970
cough.

224
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,260
She's not staying long.

225
00:13:13,200 --> 00:13:14,260
Oh, dear.

226
00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:18,250
Couldn't we get Aunty Pearl down to
distract her?

227
00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:20,360
No, she's on a coach tour of Norway.

228
00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:24,230
It's the Nazis' revenge for them sending
us a Christmas tree every year.

229
00:13:25,151 --> 00:13:27,219
Can I come in?

230
00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:30,559
What are you doing here? I told you to
stay at home. It's all right for you.

231
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:34,299
I've had to maintain authority over
there all by myself. Yes, but I... Where

232
00:13:34,300 --> 00:13:35,350
your trousers?

233
00:13:35,351 --> 00:13:36,979
They wanted them for something.

234
00:13:36,980 --> 00:13:39,199
What? I don't know. It was your mother's
idea.

235
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,750
Well, why didn't you go up and put on
another pair? She was blocking the

236
00:13:42,860 --> 00:13:44,240
Oh, my God, you are hopeless.

237
00:13:44,241 --> 00:13:47,159
Well, I didn't see you putting up much
resistance.

238
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,460
Well... Cheer up, it'll soon be his
bedtime.

239
00:13:50,060 --> 00:13:52,890
Well, no, it won't be, actually. She
said he could stay up.

240
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,440
Then? What was I supposed to do?

241
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:59,070
Those knickers will be hanging over my
head for the rest of my life.

242
00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:03,359
I told you this would get out of
control. We've got to find some way of

243
00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:05,820
her. Don't be too hard on her, Bill.

244
00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,200
You'll be old one day.

245
00:14:08,201 --> 00:14:12,039
She probably really looks forward to
seeing you and the kids, and the truth

246
00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:14,139
she's not going to be any different as
long as she lives.

247
00:14:14,140 --> 00:14:15,200
Yes, you're right.

248
00:14:15,850 --> 00:14:16,930
We'll have to kill her.

249
00:14:18,250 --> 00:14:19,550
Well, what else can we do?

250
00:14:20,290 --> 00:14:23,480
How do you get rid of Aunty Pearl when
she outstays her welcome?

251
00:14:23,510 --> 00:14:24,750
Oh, well, that's easy.

252
00:14:25,050 --> 00:14:27,040
Tony and I just have sex in the next
room.

253
00:14:27,041 --> 00:14:30,409
Ah! Yeah, she's on the phone and booked
the tickets before I open the bedside

254
00:14:30,410 --> 00:14:31,809
drawer. Do you think it'll work?

255
00:14:31,810 --> 00:14:34,929
Well, I suppose we could, but it doesn't
get back until ten. No, I mean, Bill

256
00:14:34,930 --> 00:14:35,980
and me.

257
00:14:36,430 --> 00:14:37,480
What?

258
00:14:37,670 --> 00:14:38,720
Declan could hear.

259
00:14:38,950 --> 00:14:42,970
So? He's already had a hideous childhood
without adding anything else.

260
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,420
There must be some things she doesn't
like.

261
00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:46,580
I know.

262
00:14:47,030 --> 00:14:48,830
She's staying in Jen's room, right?

263
00:14:49,030 --> 00:14:55,689
Right. Well, before she goes to bed, we
tell her that the room's haunted and

264
00:14:55,690 --> 00:14:58,040
that's why Jen won't come home at the
weekends.

265
00:14:58,250 --> 00:15:00,450
Yes. Well... What?

266
00:15:00,670 --> 00:15:01,720
Isn't it obvious?

267
00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:07,130
Can't we stay up when she goes to sleep?
We... Dance for Macarena?

268
00:15:08,210 --> 00:15:10,810
No. We haunt the room.

269
00:15:11,330 --> 00:15:13,310
And how exactly do we do that?

270
00:15:13,770 --> 00:15:16,600
Well... We'd put a couple of sheets on
our heads and go, Woo!

271
00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:19,220
What? Woo!

272
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:21,960
What are you talking about?

273
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,280
Ghosts don't go, Woo!

274
00:15:24,220 --> 00:15:25,270
Yes, they do.

275
00:15:25,580 --> 00:15:27,540
On Scooby -Doo, not in real life.

276
00:15:27,841 --> 00:15:30,919
What do they do in real life, then?

277
00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:32,480
Will you stop talking rubbish?

278
00:15:32,980 --> 00:15:35,870
Now, we're going to go back and get this
into perspective.

279
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,900
Yeah, but... We are not going to do
anything silly.

280
00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:42,879
We'll have fun this evening, and then
tomorrow, if we're still worried, we'll

281
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:43,930
think of something.

282
00:15:50,180 --> 00:15:51,500
What's going on in here?

283
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:54,440
We're playing pirate ships.

284
00:15:54,820 --> 00:15:57,020
He's making me walk the plank.

285
00:15:57,320 --> 00:15:59,980
Oh, you scrawny carnivore woman.

286
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,260
You're sleeping with the fishes.

287
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,160
Isn't he sweet?

288
00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:07,780
I love fish.

289
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:10,400
Declan, put that down.

290
00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,100
They're using my trousers as the Jolly
Roger.

291
00:16:14,480 --> 00:16:15,530
What was that then?

292
00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:17,020
Oh, we're using them as sails.

293
00:16:17,520 --> 00:16:19,420
Fast behind.

294
00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:22,640
Get them back now.

295
00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:24,010
Oh, no.

296
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:27,040
That's him. He's enjoying himself,
aren't you, love? No.

297
00:16:48,780 --> 00:16:50,760
speaking. Now, shut up, blobber bucket!

298
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:54,680
Yes, stop struggling or you'll be
sleeping with a haddock.

299
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:58,200
Actually, Mum, I think it's nearly
Declan's bedtime.

300
00:16:58,660 --> 00:17:00,760
Oh, Gran said I could stay up.

301
00:17:00,761 --> 00:17:03,539
Yeah, but I'm sure she only meant till
nine o 'clock.

302
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:06,060
No, I told him he could stay up as long
as he liked.

303
00:17:06,380 --> 00:17:08,060
Ben, stop encouraging them.

304
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:09,530
Encouraging them?

305
00:17:09,819 --> 00:17:13,838
Mum, I'm sorry to be firm about this,
but I really think he should go to bed

306
00:17:13,839 --> 00:17:14,889
now. I suppose.

307
00:17:15,060 --> 00:17:16,110
Now, Mum.

308
00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:17,720
Oh, well.

309
00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:19,579
If you say so.

310
00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,079
Do I really have to, Gran?

311
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:23,980
Yeah, do as she says.

312
00:17:23,981 --> 00:17:25,239
Thank you.

313
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:28,119
After all, I'm just a silly old woman.

314
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:32,280
Oh, I've got too soft a heart.

315
00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:37,140
When I look at his little face, well,
just look at him.

316
00:17:37,860 --> 00:17:43,099
And when I think of the terrible life
he's had, I think it would be so cruel

317
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:45,400
make life miserable for him.

318
00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:49,190
Tie him up. What?

319
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:52,400
For a little while. For a little while.

320
00:17:53,700 --> 00:17:55,580
Shall I pull it off again really high?

321
00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,440
Oh, by the way, David rang when you were
out. Oh?

322
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:05,039
Yeah, and he said, could he stay out
later than you said? And could he stop

323
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,120
all night at that friend of his? What?

324
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,560
And I said, yes, he could.

325
00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:09,890
Oh, wonderful.

326
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:15,289
Will you still be here tomorrow, Gran?
Oh, yes, Declan. Just you try and stop

327
00:18:15,290 --> 00:18:19,530
me. There are a lot more things I want
to do here before I go.

328
00:18:19,531 --> 00:18:21,349
Aren't there?

329
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,250
Yes. And now James' room is empty.

330
00:18:24,710 --> 00:18:27,430
Well, you never know, dear.

331
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:04,510
They're watching telly.

332
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:06,360
Right.

333
00:19:11,430 --> 00:19:12,480
Ben.

334
00:19:19,310 --> 00:19:20,750
Come on, Long John Silver.

335
00:19:30,550 --> 00:19:32,050
I'm not carrying her up as well.

336
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,140
Ma 'am.

337
00:19:35,970 --> 00:19:37,020
Oh.

338
00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:39,870
You must have drifted off.

339
00:19:40,170 --> 00:19:43,090
Ben's taken Declan up. He drifted off as
well.

340
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:46,930
Oh, and I was having such a lovely
dream.

341
00:19:47,410 --> 00:19:48,470
Were you? Yeah.

342
00:19:49,150 --> 00:19:53,050
Such a nice change from my usual one.

343
00:19:53,870 --> 00:19:57,450
Oh, I suppose I'd better be getting off
upstairs.

344
00:19:57,930 --> 00:19:59,570
Yeah. Your usual one?

345
00:19:59,810 --> 00:20:00,860
Yeah.

346
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:06,060
You know, that horrible dream that I
keep on having.

347
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,040
Which one's that?

348
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:12,960
I'm sure I've told you. No.

349
00:20:13,340 --> 00:20:14,860
Oh, it's horrible.

350
00:20:15,420 --> 00:20:19,780
I wake up in such a state, I can't sleep
a wink.

351
00:20:20,200 --> 00:20:22,640
It's always when I'm in a strange
bedroom.

352
00:20:23,360 --> 00:20:25,820
Sometimes I have to go home.

353
00:20:26,260 --> 00:20:28,880
Oh? What happens in it?

354
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,880
Well, I think I'm awake.

355
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:37,760
And I lie there, and it's cold, and all
I can hear is this scraping noise.

356
00:20:37,860 --> 00:20:39,380
Scrape, scrape, scrape.

357
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:44,560
And then I feel just such a heavy
pressure on me chest.

358
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:51,619
So I switch the light on, and there,
staring me straight in the face, is this

359
00:20:51,620 --> 00:20:54,840
huge, terrible light.

360
00:20:54,841 --> 00:20:56,399
That's not in the sleep at all.

361
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:57,450
Oh,

362
00:20:58,440 --> 00:20:59,760
I must be getting up.

363
00:21:00,190 --> 00:21:04,210
Oh, yes, but Mum... No, I'm dropping,
I'm dropping. I'll see you.

364
00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:05,810
Night -night. Night -night.

365
00:21:06,050 --> 00:21:07,190
See you in the morning.

366
00:21:12,790 --> 00:21:14,970
What did you have to come downstairs
for?

367
00:21:15,490 --> 00:21:17,350
Eh? She was just about to tell me.

368
00:21:17,351 --> 00:21:18,509
Tell you what?

369
00:21:18,510 --> 00:21:23,190
What she sees in her nightmare. The one
that sometimes makes her go home.

370
00:21:23,730 --> 00:21:24,780
Go home?

371
00:21:24,781 --> 00:21:29,469
She does it when she's away from her
house. She sees this horrible thing.

372
00:21:29,470 --> 00:21:31,009
kind of thing in her room? What kind of
thing?

373
00:21:31,010 --> 00:21:35,230
A huge, terrible white... What?

374
00:21:35,510 --> 00:21:37,690
I don't know. You came down.

375
00:21:37,691 --> 00:21:39,069
I wonder what it could be.

376
00:21:39,070 --> 00:21:41,930
Oh, how do I know? What's huge, terrible
and white?

377
00:21:41,931 --> 00:21:43,149
Barry White.

378
00:21:43,150 --> 00:21:44,570
Barry White is black.

379
00:21:46,090 --> 00:21:49,510
Pavarotti? How did she wake up with
Pavarotti in her room?

380
00:21:49,511 --> 00:21:52,289
Well, I don't know. It's a nightmare.
Anything could happen.

381
00:21:52,290 --> 00:21:54,510
Yes, but she hears scratching.

382
00:21:55,150 --> 00:21:56,290
Perhaps he's got fleas.

383
00:21:56,930 --> 00:21:58,270
Does it matter anyway?

384
00:21:58,830 --> 00:22:01,210
Even if we knew, what use would it be to
us?

385
00:22:01,211 --> 00:22:02,109
Hang about.

386
00:22:02,110 --> 00:22:04,370
It's obviously some kind of animal,
right?

387
00:22:04,610 --> 00:22:05,660
Yeah. Well?

388
00:22:06,790 --> 00:22:12,029
What? Well, what if David had one of
these things and it somehow got into a

389
00:22:12,030 --> 00:22:14,170
tonight? David hasn't got any animals.

390
00:22:14,650 --> 00:22:15,790
Won't be so sure of that.

391
00:22:16,850 --> 00:22:17,900
What?

392
00:22:22,210 --> 00:22:23,260
No.

393
00:22:24,170 --> 00:22:25,220
Yeah?

394
00:22:26,130 --> 00:22:27,180
No.

395
00:22:27,530 --> 00:22:28,870
No, it's quiet tonight.

396
00:22:29,150 --> 00:22:30,710
No sign of anything, really.

397
00:22:34,870 --> 00:22:36,230
Call you back, Chad.

398
00:22:41,370 --> 00:22:43,630
Hello. What's this in Adolf?

399
00:22:44,390 --> 00:22:46,070
Just don't want next Thursday off.

400
00:22:46,330 --> 00:22:47,380
What's the tax?

401
00:22:47,381 --> 00:22:50,629
Just want to borrow something. Just for
a little while. Nothing happened to it.

402
00:22:50,630 --> 00:22:51,680
Borrow what?

403
00:22:51,930 --> 00:22:52,980
Something.

404
00:23:27,310 --> 00:23:28,360
It's a rabbit.

405
00:23:28,630 --> 00:23:29,680
Well, yeah.

406
00:23:30,590 --> 00:23:31,640
It's not huge.

407
00:23:31,930 --> 00:23:32,980
It is for a rabbit.

408
00:23:33,810 --> 00:23:34,870
It's not terrible.

409
00:23:35,230 --> 00:23:36,280
Yes, it is.

410
00:23:36,470 --> 00:23:37,520
No, it isn't.

411
00:23:37,570 --> 00:23:38,620
Well, it's white.

412
00:23:38,621 --> 00:23:41,449
Look, Ben, I really think... I'm going
to put it in a room right now. Oh, no,

413
00:23:41,450 --> 00:23:42,710
no, no, Ben, no!

414
00:23:46,390 --> 00:23:47,440
Stop it. Shh!

415
00:23:49,021 --> 00:23:51,009
Shut the door.

416
00:23:51,010 --> 00:23:52,929
Good, now can you just take that thing
back?

417
00:23:52,930 --> 00:23:55,340
Where are you going now? Get me a pair
of my pants.

418
00:23:56,940 --> 00:23:57,990
Two pairs.

419
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:05,760
Six, seven, eight, nine.

420
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,140
Now what are you doing?

421
00:24:08,471 --> 00:24:10,519
Here it is.

422
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,220
What? The old loft hat.

423
00:24:45,930 --> 00:24:46,980
All right.

424
00:24:53,170 --> 00:24:54,220
What's going on?

425
00:24:54,390 --> 00:25:00,010
Not tonight, Jim.

426
00:25:00,890 --> 00:25:02,070
I've got a headache.

427
00:25:04,841 --> 00:25:12,449
Declan, you have to understand that
although Mum thinks an awful lot of you,

428
00:25:12,450 --> 00:25:15,100
isn't the same as letting you do
everything you want.

429
00:25:15,470 --> 00:25:20,289
We love you just as much, but sometimes
it's not a good idea to play pirates or

430
00:25:20,290 --> 00:25:22,329
something like that just because you
want to.

431
00:25:22,330 --> 00:25:24,680
What makes you think I wanted to play
pirates?

432
00:25:24,930 --> 00:25:25,980
What?

433
00:25:26,030 --> 00:25:30,630
Do you really think anybody under the
age of 50 wants to play pirates in 1999?

434
00:25:31,490 --> 00:25:32,930
I'd rather do Duke Nukem.

435
00:25:33,250 --> 00:25:34,300
Why did you do it?

436
00:25:34,630 --> 00:25:36,190
I forgot to wear her out somehow.

437
00:25:36,530 --> 00:25:39,730
I was doing my best. I kept her going
until half past ten.

438
00:25:40,410 --> 00:25:41,460
Wear her out?

439
00:25:42,270 --> 00:25:44,530
Well, how else are we going to get rid
of her?

440
00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:48,580
She stays here all the time. She's going
to drive us around the twist.

441
00:25:48,581 --> 00:25:51,409
What was all that stuff about wanting to
stay for the weekend?

442
00:25:51,410 --> 00:25:52,970
We don't want to make it obvious.

443
00:25:55,570 --> 00:25:57,550
Blimey, you'd be hopeless on the street.

444
00:25:57,551 --> 00:26:00,489
Just leave me and you'll be home again
by the end of tomorrow.

445
00:26:00,490 --> 00:26:01,540
You see.

446
00:26:01,950 --> 00:26:03,270
Finally, a bit of sanity.

447
00:26:03,990 --> 00:26:07,749
Hang on, hang on. If this is all some
kind of scam, what was all that about

448
00:26:07,750 --> 00:26:10,640
wanting chips instead of meat? Where did
all that fit in?

449
00:26:10,670 --> 00:26:12,530
There's got to be some perks to the job.

450
00:26:13,710 --> 00:26:14,760
Go on.

451
00:26:15,130 --> 00:26:17,650
Go and get some sleep. Yeah, come on,
Duke Nukem.

452
00:26:19,130 --> 00:26:23,509
Yeah, I don't suppose she told you what
it was that was huge, terrible and white

453
00:26:23,510 --> 00:26:25,010
that scared the life out of her.

454
00:26:25,330 --> 00:26:26,390
Mum, tell me.

455
00:26:26,650 --> 00:26:28,450
She's never mentioned it, honestly.

456
00:26:30,850 --> 00:26:32,210
You can go home tomorrow.

457
00:26:36,121 --> 00:26:42,659
All right? Yeah, he's quite a kid.
Always got something to surprise you.

458
00:26:42,660 --> 00:26:47,210
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